


(Soon to Be) Married... With Children

by soul_droid



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce and Selina are getting Married, F/F, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Stephanie Brown is Robin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 14:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14107365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_droid/pseuds/soul_droid
Summary: A glimpse into the life of Batdad and his kids while out on patrol with the fiancee.





	(Soon to Be) Married... With Children

Over the comm units was probably not the best time for Stephanie to randomly explain that 

“Batgirl, I just want you to know, I would be the handmaiden to your feudal lord so fucking fast.”

Now, Cassandra was a responsible girl, kind of, if you didn’t pry too far, which wasn’t really far at all, but Robin was very good at getting Cass off her game, and this comment was no different “What… does that… mean?”

A sigh was the telltale sign that Red Robin realized he’d have to butt into a given situation “It means she’s a sub, and she doesn’t realize we’re on an open channel.”

In a mock-angry tone that failed to hide the smile on her face, Robin fires back, “Shut your dirty whore mouth, Drake, I know what channel we’re on.”

“You realize Batman is on this channel with us, right?”

“Well, originally, he wouldn’t have known what it meant.”

Bruce, perhaps getting soft in old age, allows himself to join in for just a second “I’m actually well aware of this meme. It’s dead, if I recall.”

“I’m sorry– did I just hear Batman talk about memes?”

“So,” Another, older female voice joins in. It is noted as belonging to Catwoman. “This is what it’s like going out with the kids?”

Batman, without hesitation, or any fear his question will be met in the affirmative, responds “Not thinking of calling off the wedding, are you?”

“Are you kidding? I wanna get it pushed up now. I’m gonna have a  _blast_  pestering Daddybats with the young’uns!”

“Of course. But enough about that. I think our mark is about to get moving.”

“Business, business.”

So the Bats turn back to the matter that brought them to this area of the city.

…

With a small exception.

“What is a ‘sub?” Batgirl asks in earnest, inciting intense stifled laughter from Robin, and a very nervous guttural noise from Red Robin.

– ALTERNATE ENDING (which probably still happens when they’re in the Batcave later)

With a small exception.

“Why does Batman know about the feudal lord and hadnmaiden meme?” Robin asks, with very reasonable confusion. Batman dreads that he is eventually going to have to explain this now.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second very short Batman fanfic, but I promise I'll do a longer one at some point (once I get an idea of what I'm gonna do), and it's probably gonna be a StephCass, so keep an eye out for that.
> 
> And for those of you who don't understand the title, it's a dated reference to a sitcom from the late 80's to late 90's (don't know what I'm doing making reference to it, I was born at like the end of its run, but here we are).


End file.
